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my procrastination place.

[forever awkward]

3 days ago → 54,646 notes
burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

No, you don’t understand - I literally adopted a cat I was fostering because I watched him steal half a pizza like how can you not respect that shit
4 days ago → 237,248 notes
Anonymous whispered : how do you give a bj

gnarly:

get a bible and start reading it out loud i promise u will blow him away with the word of the lord

4 days ago → 7,908 notes

charlesoberonn:

ellisthecatmewster:

SO THIS ONE TIME IT WAS NEW YEARS EVE AND MY ASSHOLE OF A DAD WAS DRUNK AND WE MADE A BET. IF I COULD HIT HIM IN THE ASS CHEEK WITH A BLOWGUN DART THAT I WOULD GET $200. SO I AIMED IT (I WAS 12 YEARS OLD) AND I MISJUDGED THE AIM AND IT HIT HIM STRAIGHT IN THE NUTS AND MY BROTHER HANDED ME $500 WHILE MY DAD WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL VIA AMBULANCE.

Ballseye

4 days ago → 299,931 notes
4 days ago → 92,560 notes
4 days ago → 107,743 notes
jovi-angel-in-a-blue-box:

tastefullyoffensive:

[channelate] (bonus panel)

well.. that was a pleasant plot twist
4 days ago → 4,686 notes
hug-bees:

seaslaverysucks:

A 10-year-old goldfish named George underwent a successful 45-minute surgery to remove a life-threatening tumor last week. His Australian owners took him to the vet when they realized he was acting off. They spent $200 to save their pet fish, which the vet at Lort Smith Animal Hospital says can live another 20 years, if healthy.
George had to be given general anesthetic, so Dr. Tristan Rich had him swim in a bucket of water laced with anesthetic. When the operation was done, they put George in a bucket of normal water. He was given painkillers and antibiotics, and after a few minutes he started swimming around, good as new. • Sources: Lort Smith (Facebook); “A 10-Year-Old Goldfish Had Surgery To Remove A Tumor, Expected To Live Another 20 Years” on Buzz Feed

I shouldn’t be laughing but I am
5 days ago → 337,630 notes

nekoabbzi:

rachelisaflameprincess:

bendydicks:

considerthishippie:

Instead of just looking up into the sky, you’re actually gazing down into the infinite cosmic abyss, with only gravity holding you onto the surface of the earth.

oh

i was not prepared for that

I just gasped like I wasn’t ready for that at all

5 days ago → 2,390 notes
5 days ago → 163,433 notes
closetperspective:

franklyrainbows:

Seriously though, where does Trevor even go?

At first I was like 
WHY IS DOOFENSCHMIRTZ BALD
and then it hit me.
5 days ago → 835,065 notes
5 days ago → 258,750 notes
5 days ago → 2,879 notes
5 days ago → 171,211 notes

dramasbomin:

motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

You are a beautiful person.

6 days ago → 2,947 notes